Farewell to Shadow-Lands

"'I say! steady! Look what we're coming to!...'

...For now they saw before them the Caldron Pool and beyond the Pool, the high unclimbable cliffs and, pouring down the cliffs, thousands of tons of water every second, flashing like diamonds in some places and dark, glassy green in others, the Great Waterfall, and already the thunder of it was in their ears.

'Don't stop! Further up and further in...'

'This is absolutely crazy," said Eustace to Edmund.

'Isn't it wonderful?' said Lucy. "Have you noticed one can't feel afraid, even it one wants to? Try it...'

But before Jill had time to notice all things fully, she was going up the Waterfall herself. It was the sort of thing that would have been quite impossible in our world. Even if you hadn't been drowned, you would have been smashed to pieces by the terrible weight of water against countless jags of rock. But in that world you could do it. You went on, up and up, with all kinds of reflected lights flashing at you from the water and all manner of coloured stones flashing through it, till it seemed as if you were climbing up light itself--and always higher and higher till the sense of height would have terrified you if you could be terrified, but here it was gloriously exciting. And then at last one came to the lovely, smooth green curve in which the water poured over the top and found that one was out on the level river above the waterfall. The current was racing away behind you, but you were such a wonderful swimmer that you could make headway against it. Soon they were all on the bank, dripping but happy...

...Further up and further in..."

I went searching for something to soothe my soul yesterday and I found this in the final chapter of The Last Battle by CS Lewis. I can imagine you here Julie. The place of your death is now transformed into a place of beauty for me. There you are crawling up the waterfall with all its delights and glory.

I miss you and all that could have been. I grieve the photos that will never be taken because you are gone. I grieve the way that you saw the world is no more. I grieve the loss of the relationship we had and the familiarity I found in it.

I see the photos of John on the wall and I think of you. You will always be with me in them.

And when I go up north and hear the roar of the water over the falls, I will see your hand extended towards me, guiding me upwards to the hope that is found beyond this life through the Great Waterfall.

Someday we will meet again and you can show me the way...further up and further in...

Comments

[Deb]

Jan, A beautiful, heartfelt piece. Thank you for loving our daughter, Julie so. You are right, someday we will meet again and oh, what a reunion!

[sleepingwithbread]

Thank you for this. Julie encouraged me during the earliest days of our blogging community . . . using very few words . . . perfect timing . . . the perfect whisper.